VERY Special Bdays

Parents celebrate the day they first met their little one in many different ways. Birthdays are as important to parents, especially mothers, as they are to the children. It's great to be able to personalize the celebration of the day as much as the original day was.

O‎ne of my children's favorite things on their birthday is to hear their tale of how they came to be. Included in this tale is how happy my husband an I were when we found out we were pregnant, siblings' reactions, preparations we made, foods I craved,and how we chose their name. Other things that can be included may be gifts given. For example, if your son/daughter has a favorite blanket you can describe it as a birthday gift rather than a shower gift and allow it to remind them how much their family loves them-so much so they were waiting and thinking of them before they were even born. 

This tradition of reflecting on how the family grew not only reaffirms the child's place in the family and makes him/her special but also allows mommy and daddy to revel in one of the greatest events of their lives. ‎It also opens family discussion to reflect back on other fond family memories. 

Another great way to make your child feel special on their birthday ‎is to allow them to pick a meal that day. For example, for my daughter's 11th birthday she chose to have fish sticks pancakes topped with applesauce for dinner. These were two of her favorite foods and she was tickeled to have everyone in the family eating with her. My other daughter choses grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch every year. Be prepared however, sometimes the choice maybe to eat at their favorite restaurant, so budget accordingly. 

You can even personalize the more common birthday traditions such as cake and gifts. ‎Rather than buy these items try making them. Include siblings in the process too. My daughters love helping decorate each other's cakes and when by making small crafty gifts or cards they get joy from their brother/sister opening their presents as much as the gift reciever gets from knowing love, thought, and time went into them. 

So next year when planning that miraculous day that can never ‎replicated consider how to make it as memorable as the original birth day. Standard birthday parties with balloons and friends can be just as special with a few extra personal touches of sentamentality.

Games

Love hurts...

It has been a long time since I posted. Some of the reason was bc I endured many peeves as of late. The other reason is simply that I have been busy. However, during this  hiatus I changed my career, address, and relationship status.

The relationship status is what sparked me to post here again. As many well know I am now divorced,which means I have reentered the dating scene. It is no longer as it was 20 years ago when I got married. Now it's a bitter untrusting cyberworld.

So here are just a couple of things I found in determining if a man is a player:
1. If he in anyway "loves" you before you meet or very early on. Examples of how he does this are "accidentally" slipping and saying love then switching to like in a phrase about you or saying "I could love you". The best is just outright saying, "I love you" especially via text even though you haven't even met or maybe talked on the phone. It's ridiculous that they believe you are that stupid.
2. He has more than 1 or 2 female friends he regularly hangs out with, aka movie nights or sports events, or bar nights. These "friends" are even more likely to be more if he says they have never slept together or if he always goes with them without you. If his female friend is truly just that he will feel no need to hide if they had a past because it's past and she will be fine with all 3 of you going to a club or dinner and probably has her own someone to bring.
3. He calls you "baby" all the time. This maybe used as a term of endearment if used in moderation but overkill can be him covering his rear as to not slip and make a name mistake.
4. He very specifically details his whereabouts on nights he's not with you yet is defensive when you ask a simple question. Example would be he told you he went to his guy friend's to watch football and got $15 in gas on the way; they had pizza from Pizza Hut and he decided to pick up deodorant at Wal-mart on the way home because he was out in his locker at work. Then when you ask something simple like, "Did your brother go with you?" or "Did you see (intert mutual friend who works at Wal-mart)?" he blows up with how he doesn't have to tell you everything or he doesn't have time to pay attention or chat at the store.

Fitness Made Easier

I am on a roll with the “glees” recently.  Last week, I discovered a free website that offers many features to assist in healthy living at www.sparkpeople.com.  Here you can track calories, carbs, and fat, as well as steps, minute and distance of different workouts. From fitness to nutrition this site has it all and you get to personalize your settings, including your goals.  So whether you are trying to lose weight or lower your blood pressure, there is a plan for you.

The site offers many similar benefits of its pricey competitors, but unlike weight Watchers and Nutri-system, Spark People does not require a membership fee or meal purchases.  Rather, this site will plan your meals, allowing you to substitute due to taste preferences and budget, and then it will even break it down into a grocery list for you. 

Eating healthy sound expensive?  At Spark People you can even set a budget that fits you.  The site does it all, even design work outs or lets you create your own.  Also, there is no calorie figuring, the site is preset for each food you eat, even if it is not in your plan, you can add it. (Let me say it is accurate against the packaging).   

All of your activities are tracked so you can see your progress as you go, not just at the end of a week or day.  You can also earn points to spend on items like pedometers or t shirts and read the latest health news, search tips for your goals, and join groups and blogs. 

Whether your goal is as simple as drinking more water today or reading from a motivational book, or more complicated like losing 30 pounds this site will fit your needs.  I am not saying this because I get rewarded for promoting the site, I read at U.S. News health that “Participants in a study … who entered their meals and physical activity in online diaries at least once a month for roughly two years were more likely to lose weight—and keep it off—than others who did so less diligently.”  Read the full article at http://health.usnews.com/health-news/diet-fitness/diet/articles/2010/08/03/5-weight-loss-websites-that-work . 

I have lost 3 pounds since I began tracking a week or so ago.  Spark People makes me more aware of what I really eat and at the end of the day when my tracker says I only have 2 grams of fat left in my daily allowance, I skip the ice cream I may have had before.  It makes your diet and fitness goals more visible.  I do not like when I look at the day and it says I only did half of the exercise I planned, then charts it on a line graph with a sharp dip that I slacked a day. 

It takes self motivation too, but this tool will help and it’s FREE.  For those that need more than self motivation, utilize the blogs and support groups.  I have never tried weight watchers, but I have seen signs for their meetings and Going online has to be easier than coordinating with others to meet in a church basement.  Go try it and be sure to let me know what you think. 

Good Will in a Time of Need

            In today’s world every penny counts.  With the poor economy it becomes harder and harder to find true benefactors, but lately it seems to be becoming a trend to help those in need. 

Today, the late Johnny Carson was on my homepage due to a generous contribution to charity.  Last week, I read about Warren Buffett and Bill Gates giving much of their fortunes to charity in an attempt to kick-start the economy. 

These are wonderful changes that our front runners of economic developments are starting, hopefully setting an example for others in our top 10% to share the wealth, and I, in no way, want to minimize their efforts.  They are truly the ones who can have an impact and can save America, however, I would like to offer a “thank you” to the lesser known helpers of humanity.

Here in my hometown there is a very small organization who, even in this dire time for many Americans, maintains a FREE store.  Everything they offer is free.   It is a small store that has clothes, dishes, curtains, shoes, baby things, some food items, and other miscellaneous items.  There is a bulletin board where people can post items they need and items they can spare at no charge so that the goods of society are available to those who need them.

All of the workers in this shop are volunteers, many church people, but some just willing to help because they have the commodity of time to offer.  More than 100 families a week visit the store to get items they need. They travel in from several surrounding counties seeking help of items, prayer, or even counseling.  

Running any business takes money, so how do how do they offer free everything?  Through donations of others who want to help.  What may not seem like much to one may mean the world to another and by putting it all together it becomes a miracle for those in need. 

In today’s world you may not feel as though you have anything to offer, trust me I was in the same boat, but every little bit truly does count when it is for a good cause.  People helping others in this time, or any time, is a “glee” in my book and I want to thank everyone for helping groups, like the one that runs Heaven’s Closet, carry on against the odds.

Wedding Bells

So, my last two posts fell into the “peeve” category, so it is time for me to post a “glee”.  The subject I have chosen has been heavily in the news as of late with Chelsea Clinton, Megan Fox, and Carrie Underwood sharing theirs.  Weddings -stay with me guys, I know you are hopeless romantics underneath (besides my goal is something for everybody).  Whether it is your own or someone else’s, the witness to a union of true love just makes you feel good.  

It seems that at a gathering of friends and family, as those enchanting vows of love are spoken, the world could exist in a fairy tale.  Maybe it is the elegant dresses, extravagant cake, or lovely flowers, but more likely it is the idea of sharing in the construction of a family.  No matter how large, how small, or what constancy it feels as if you are partaking in a tiny piece of history. 

 Notice I said ‘true’ love; there is always that couple that is not meant to be and everyone knows it but them.  Generally, however, once a pair makes it far enough that they plan their event and invite witnesses it is something to at least give the benefit of the doubt and celebrate their happiness in hopes that it lasts.  

It seems that I used to attend at least one wedding each summer, but now they are becoming fewer and farther between.  Is it because the emphasis on “holy matrimony” is wearing thin?  I still know just as many unwed people as always, they just seem less interested in making it official, but my brother, FINALLY, after 12 years with his girlfriend is planning a big shah-bang this October.  I am so excited for them.  This is a union meant to last and they have established a track record as proof. 

I have attended both weddings deserving of rejoicing and those destined by doom.  We usually know whether a marriage is immediately off on the wrong foot or will last a while, even if not forever.  Sometimes we even choose whether we will attend the wedding or not based on how much we support the couple in their endeavor.  The atmosphere of a wedding that was simply destined is different for everyone involved, right down to the guests and being the guest at a fairy tale wedding where the new husband and wife just know there is no one else out there for them because they have found “The One” lends a sense of balance to the world.

Why more people seem to be steering clear of making their combination official is unclear to me, but friends and family alike enjoying getting a glimpse of that pure happiness, devoted love, and piece of , at least, family history.  Perhaps it is seeing that it can happen, or that they can hope to achieve such bliss, or they are reliving their happy day of matrimony.  Whatever the reason weddings can create a wealth of positive feelings we all can appreciate.

The Movie Industry

So about ten years ago my husband and I had the pleasure to see this wonderful Asian film called Internal Affairs. It was a movie about an undercover police man who discovers that there is a mole for the drug lord working on the police force. Each man is worried that they will be discovered and it becomes a race of who can find the other first.


Sound at all familiar? Try an award winning movie starring Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DeCaprio, Matt, Damon, Martin Sheen, and Mark Walberg. Yep, you guessed it. The Departed.

Imagine my surprise 35 minutes into this new American movie, with an all star cast, that is nominated for several awards including Best Picture, Best Director (Martin Scorsese), Best Film Editing and Best Adapted, to find out that I had already seen this movie. According to Reelviews.net (Retrieved 2009-10-17), critic James Berardinelli awarded the film four stars out of four, praising it as "an American epic tragedy." He went on to compare the film favorably to the onslaught of banality offered by American studios in recent years. "The movies have been in the doldrums lately. The Departed is a much needed tonic," he wrote.

The problem I had was not with the movie being remade, it was that little credit was given to the original and that Scorsese got credit for originality, though the movie was identical to the Asian masterpiece, minus the Asians.From the blocking to the wardrobe the film was nearly identical. Unfortunately the liberties taken such as texting to communicate in The Departed verses Morse Code in Internal Affairs, deflated the quality of the movie.

Without changing the screenplay, it did not have the same affect in translation as the moving, thrilling, Asian version. Disappointed I barely was able to finish the movie, which was adapted from one of my favorite movies.

While perusing the channels late night, just a year after I discovered Internal Affairs, I stumbled across another foreign work of art, a French movie called Le dîner de cons or known as The Dinner Game or Dinner for Idiots. It was the funniest comedy I had ever seen. It was about a man who met a savant, who built landmark sculptures from matchsticks, and invites him to a dinner, The dinner is a contest of who can bring the biggest idiot. Everything that can go wrong does and the comedy runs rampant.

Sound familiar? Yes, you got it. Steve Carell is playing the unwitting idiot in this summers big film Dinner for Schmucks. Did you realize this was a remake? They are not publicizing it, Again I am disappointed in the lack of credit, but have not yet seen this film to say how similar it is to its French parent or if it is even worthy of comparison.

Topping my list of disappointments is the fact that the film industry has had almost no original ideas. I got a flyer advertising the summer’s upcoming block buster’s as the list was:

 Little Fockers (a sequel)

 Shrek Forever After (a sequel)

 Iron Man 2 (a sequel)

 The A Team (an adaptation)

 Sex in the City 2 (a sequel)



Worse, here are the upcoming movies this year:

 Batman 3 (a sequel)

 Eclipse Movie (a sequel)

 Harry Potter 7 (a sequel)

 Last Airbender (an adaptation)

 National Treasure 3 (a sequel)

 Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (a sequel)

 Resident Evil 4 (a sequel)

 Transformers 3 (a sequel)

 Tron Legacy (a remake)

They also plan to reboot several other movies such as Spider Man and Superman. They seem to be just milking us to make a profit. It is so sad that all America is contributing to the great art of filmmaking now is copies. Imagine a world where every painter only painted the Mona Lisa, but in their own interpretation.

This is not about foreign films being better than American, though they are definitely more original. This is about the creative people in the world wanting a chance to make art, while instead the money is used to create Terminator 43 or Baywatch Returns. This is about directors, actors and movie companies rehashing old, unoriginal material, again and again.

PS: If a movie based on Baywatch comes out, remember it I called it here first.

My Inroduction and 1st topic: Phishing

Today, I was reading about blogging on my home page. Little did I know, until this afternoon, I had not truly understood this web phenomenon. After reading the article, I decided that I, as a writer, may genuinely enjoy this activity and as a writer, others may too.

The plan for this blog that I am constructing is to open a fair and friendly forum for topics of our culture, no matter how frivolous, that plague our minds, disrupt our days, bond us together, and generally make us a society. These can be negative or positive because as everyone knows we enjoy, whether we admit it or not, the good, the bad, and the ugly. We appreciate sharing tears of joy as much as we revel in tears of sorrow.

I will say right off that I am a mother, but will promise not to dwell simply on parenting; there are plenty of those sites already. Generating a venting session is also not part of my vision for this blog. I am not necessarily world traveled and ingenious, but I feel I can bring an interesting perspective from the general public (or…maybe, I just have too much time on my hands).

Fair warning I also love playing devil’s advocate, because I believe that more than one perspective should be revealed, therefore my blogs may not always be my own view. Remember I said my goal was to create a ‘fair’ platform of ideas.

Now on to my first topic: Phishing scams. We have had email for the better portion of 25 years now and the internet for even longer. In this wonderful age of technology information travels incomprehensibly fast. Almost upon birth of our ability to contact virtually the entire world via cyberspace the revelation for a new type of con was also born. The level of anonymity that could be achieved had been unmatched previously and when the ability to transfer funds electronically arrived, well, crooks celebrated.

Alternately, word of such conduct spread almost as quick and security procedures and tools spawned from the rampant crime scene. Not only were people alerted and educated against such villainous schemes, ever-evolving technology was designed to block or track offenders and laws then developed which prosecuted acts of stealing (i.e. identity theft) via the web.

This was all several years ago, I understand, but do these dishonest people really think that we have forgotten their shenanigans? My spam box still receives at least 10 emails a day from people claiming they are employed by a foreign bank that has some incredible amount of money for me, for whatever crazy reason, and that all I have to do is send them a few bits of personal information to receive my fortune.

I must admit they have gotten wiser. My emails now come from Dr. Robert Water, Andrew Tweedie, UPS, or even the FBI, but the content is still the same scam. Usually not only are they obviously unrealistic, they have grammatical and spelling errors galore.

Though the scams may have been exposed a decade ago, our defenses against such attacks are still in place and our awareness has not subsided. In fact, there are now paid advertisements on television about identity theft and everything financial from insurance to credit cards come with privacy statements.

We know our rights and I find it hard to believe that this is a lucrative scheme these days. I suspect that anyone desperate enough to fall for this has to be desperately low on funds already, thus not allowing much thievery to take place.

In closing, my question is not why do these criminals still even bother, because obviously they must still score at least intermittently, but why, with all of the afore mentioned advancements, are they still able to try? Also, why would we, knowing that the internet has the potential to render us vulnerable, enter such a realm without arming ourselves with at least information?